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Dasha Bosaya-Lazareva view profile
, Canada
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by Dasha Bosaya-Lazareva

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5 Components to Achieving Daily Happiness

When we think of happiness, we usually have in mind this grand, rarely attainable constellation of all the things we want in life… a very saturated concentrate of our most ambitious goals, our most fantastic dreams, all linked together with crazy beautiful love and exemplary health, and confidence in tomorrow and day after tomorrow… Has anybody ever achieved that all at once? I highly doubt. In fact, I can even dare to say, nobody. There is always a flip side to every “happy” story, and even those lucky ones who seemingly live this life of happiness on earth have a secret wound or woe or wish that keeps them short of being happy. Such is life.

Does it follow, then, that happiness is a myth? In that extreme form, most likely. And even if such a quintessential paradise does exist, it means that everything outside is pretty grim. Is it worth walking through the darkness in hopes of getting to this place one day? I don’t know. What I do know is, daily happiness does exist, and while it’s very different from that grand notion above, it’s what makes life much more plausible and bearable – even enjoyable, I’d say. Because after all, our life is what we go through every day.

And the best part is, oftentimes, you just happen to discover a key or two to your own version of happiness as you go along.

1.     At some point, you stop pretending

People-pleasing is a natural path to follow as you carve out your place in the society. You want people to accept you, and that means presenting a refined, polished version of yourself that is easy to understand and coexist with. Does this strategy take you places? Certainly. Does it take you where you belong? Not necessarily. There are two problems with molding yourself into a socially digestible version. First, sooner or later, your true face appears regardless, leading to a contradiction either with your surroundings (if you don’t manage to hide it) or with yourself (if you do manage to hide it). Second, you end up somewhere that is not your true place (an image is worth 1000 words, so see below for a graphic explanation).

At some point in life, you realize being anybody else but you is simply inefficient. And once you do that, you will be amazed to find a source of daily happiness in embracing your true self.

2.     Somewhere down the road, you learn to love yourself

There is so much buzz going on about loving yourself, accepting yourself, and coming to terms with yourself, that you would think we all should be self-love gurus by now. But such flooding of self-help resources only demonstrates that we are yet to learn how to love the most precious person we have (in case you’re wondering who that is, it’s your own self). Everybody has their own mental route of self-depreciating thoughts. The day you get tired of following that route over and over again, the day when you look at yourself and think it’s pretty cool to be who you are, the day when you (timidly) become your own fan is when you tap into yet another source of daily happiness.

3.     You stop waiting for happiness

Instead, you start creating it every single day. Mind you, we’re still talking about daily happiness, ordinary, small-scale, routine, and simple (yet one that keeps you smiling and makes you feel good without any special big occasion). Examples? They are plentiful. Taking in the grand beauty of nature (seeing the brilliance of the morning dew on the lawn in front of your house as you leave for work). Allowing your heart to be touched by the art, by music, by stories, by things that make you think. Enjoying your interaction with people – coming to think of it, sharing a moment with another person and getting a glimpse into their mind and soul is a wonder in itself. I’d even say, go for a simplistic version of hedonism. Savour your food, relish your morning coffee, rejoice in your own laughter, kiss like there is no tomorrow. Take in life one moment at a time, and see what you can do about it.

4.     You stop expecting

If you look at the instances when you felt upset, disappointed, or unhappy, you’d notice that way too often that discontent stems from unmet expectations. We are very good at anticipation – we like to imagine how it’s going to be like, and as we develop that fantasy, we endow it with many different mandatory attributes, so when the reality check comes, we are left devastated as we get half of what we’ve been expecting at best. Solution? Ditch expectations. Resist that temptation to paint a pretty picture. Ban wishful thinking – it does you no good at all. Learn to enter any period in your life, any relationship, any event – any room even – with a blank slate. You will instantly notice there are, all of a sudden, many pleasant surprises.

5.     You look forward to the day ahead

In the morning, when you wake up – and in the evening, when you go to bed. Even if you know the day is going to be tough. Even if you’ve just had a tough day. Always look forward to what’s coming next. As long as you breathe, life goes on, so the best you can do is welcome it and enjoy it as it is.

[Image Credit: favim.com / blog.drawn.ca]


Posted on November 15, 2016 in Simple Happiness by Dasha Bosaya-Lazareva

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